No Moon Hangs in the Sky
by livelaughlove123
Summary: She goes into the park, straight to the back though it's dark because there's no moon hanging in the sky like normal and she can barely see a meter in front of her, much less where her feet are stepping. L/J Post-Hogwarts


No Moon Hangs in the Sky

She pulls on those old boots of her father's, the combat ones with the laces and shuts the door softly behind her, looking up quickly to the window above her, her parent's window. But she can't stop now so she continues down the sidewalk, the boots making _clump clump clump _noises on the sidewalk and her pink knapsack hitting lightly against her thigh with every step she takes. Yet she doesn't look back. Her eyes start tearing slightly but she tells herself it's because her contacts have been in too long and not because of anything else. She crosses the street quickly, not even looking left or right because at that time of night no one is driving around. She goes into the park, going straight to the back though it's dark because there's no moon hanging in the sky like normal and she can barely see a meter in front of her, much less where her feet are stepping. Yet she knows she going in the right direction when she stumbles against the barbed wire fence that guards the denser part of the woods filled with darkness and creatures from another world (or at least that's the rumor the neighborhood boys spread around).

She feels the cold metal of the fence and hears the electricity buzzing through the barbed wire at the top. She looks around, feeling slightly silly thinking that even if there was anyone around, she wouldn't be able to see them. She pulls out the long, thin stick from her pocket and points it at the wire, murmuring an incantation that makes the electricity stop buzzing. Before hoisting herself onto the fence, she feels it once more to make sure that the spell worked. Feeling nothing, she puts each hand in between the diamond-shaped holes in the fence and climbs up and over. When she gets to the other side, she jumps down on the soft, dewy grass which softens her fall. Pocketing her wand, she gets up and futilely tries scraping the grass stains off her elbows and knee.

She looks around herself, almost surprised that she's actually there, that she actually left, that she actually did something for once and realizes the consequences of her actions. When they wake up and find she's not there, they're going to freak, she thinks. Yeah, she had left a small note, but that's not what matters. What matters is what they're going to tell their friends? Their family? Oh yes, our younger daughter, she's gone off again to that school with those people (even though it's summer, even though she already graduated, even though -). You know, that school that no one's ever heard of? The one where she escapes to every year? The one that everyone knows we can't possibly afford? Yes, that's the one.

She shakes her head, wanting to stop thinking all those thoughts. She can't imagine turning back now after she spent all that time writing letters back and forth and planning this - her one act of rebellion. So she moves on into the forest, brushing past prickly bushes and branches until she reaches a clearing of sorts. The trees, which had grown denser are now a little more spread out and there's a grassy spot near the trunk of the tree with the knot-hole, where she knows she is to meet. As she's looking around, brushing the grassy away, a flash of white catches her eye. It's a regular old cigarette package and she turns to look away, but then she takes a second look and realizes that it's shining a little brighter than normal. Looking closer, she sees that it is in fact, glowing. Sirius, she thinks, would have thought to make the object that, considering he's the one that smokes the most. Careful not to touch it, she moves the grass around it and then carefully peers at the halo it creates around it. Deciding that this is definitely the object she is supposed to find and not just a radioactive pack of cigarettes, she kicks it into the middle of the clearing and sits down beside it for a second. Then she places her hand on top of it.

Suddenly, everything turns to black and then her throat is in her stomach and her stomach is in her feet and her feet are in her face and she's twisting and turning and then there's color, color everywhere. Bursting in bright blues and greens, turquoises and oranges. It's so bright she feels like everything's going to explode and then it does.

She wakes up on the ground and she feels like a dozen trolls are doing the can-can inside her head. She opens her eyes, but just barely and sees a person standing above her. The person shouts something and it echoes, echoes, echoes inside her head until two, no three people come running over.

"Is that-? Lily? Lils?" A voice calls, one that's vaguely familiar perhaps. It's deep and commanding, but yet soft and familiar at the same time.

She's confused enough to feel like just closing her eyes and wake up from this strange dream she's having, but instead she opens her eyes a little more and props herself up on one arm.

She's bombarded by a group of boys, one telling her to lay down again, another asking if she's alright, then a third telling her to be quiet, and a fourth asking her what happened.

Disregarding all of them, she slowly gets to her feet and picks up the wand that fell out of her pocket. Then she turns to the one closest to her- the one with the voice she heard originally, the one with the messy hair and the owlish glasses- and she latches onto him.

"Lils, oh Lils." He murmurs into her hair, pulling her into his arms and tightening them around her. As she pulls away, he sneaks a kiss on her lips.

She smiles her little smile and reaches over to hug Remus, then Peter, then Sirius. The last one picking her up and swinging her around in a circle.

"Hey, hey, still a dizzy here, okay?" She says, still smiling, but motioning for him to put her back down.

"Oh sorry dear Lily flower! I always forget your horrid reactions to Portkeys." Sirius says, laughing as he drops her back on the ground.

"Yeah, you okay Lil?" James says, his eyebrows furrowing like they always do when he's concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, it's just the Portkey or apparating or anything similar to that always affects me weird, you know." Lily says, remembering the bright bursts of color in her head.

"Okay good, let's head back to the house then." James says, motioning back to the house behind her where she can see a little smoke in the air from the fire pit set up in the backyard.

Remus, Sirius, and Peter run ahead, but not without a significant look from James, who motions to Lily and himself with a shooing hand in their direction.

"So everything go okay? You find it all right? You're a little later than we expected. Everyone else is already here." James says once the rest of the boys run ahead of them.

"Yeah, I found it fine really. It just took a bit to get out of the house." She doesn't mention that Petunia had left at 7 for her date with Vernon and that Mum and Dad went to bed before 9. She also doesn't mention that she spent the last two hours laying on her bed staring at the ceiling before finally getting the courage to leave.

She doesn't say any of that, but somehow James reads between the lines because he looks at her out of the corner of his eye before grabbing her hand and squeezing it.

"I'm glad you're here." He says simply, but he implies everything that she would blush at him saying. That it means the world to him that she came. That he understands how hard this is for her, but that he loves her no matter what.

She smiles wide and squeezes his hand, swinging their joint hands between them. They're getting closer to the bonfire and she is starting to recognize the people sitting around as Marlene and Peter and Remus and Emmeline and Sirius and Dorcas. But, right when they get close enough for her to wave at them, James pulls her left towards his house.

"Let's go grab the marshmallows. We've been waiting for you to start roasting." He says.

Once inside his house, he begins ruffling through the pantry on the right for the marshmallows. "I swear they've were in here, unless Mum moved them again to hide them from Dad."

"How's your Mum doing?" Lily says, knowing that Mrs. Potter was still upset over her father passing that past month.

"Fine, fine, she's been keeping herself busy." James says, still shuffling in the pantry. "Just last weekend they went into the city for her friend's daughter's wedding. Said she had a real good time."

Lily stiffens at the word "wedding," but James doesn't notice as he's still scrimmaging around in the closet.

"Found them!" He exclaims. "She hid them behind the flaxseed. I should've guessed."

He turns around to find Lily staring at the countertop with a sullen expression on her face. She knows she's bad at hiding her emotions but so is James since she can see him running through the conversation in his head to see what he said that made her sad. She can even tell when he remembers that he talked about a wedding, which has been almost a taboo topic between them for the past few weeks.

She can read him so well that she knows that he's not just going to let it go, not just let her sulk, but instead try to broach the topic in his own subtle-not-so-subtle way.

"So any word from Petunia about the event that begins with a 'w' and takes place approximately one week from now?" He says, always to trying to lighten the tone before launching into the serious parts.

Lily looks away from James. "Well I'm still 'invited,' if that means anything considering the fact that she hasn't spoken a peep to me since I got off the train two weeks ago."

"Well maybe she's just busy with the plans and everything." James looks at her pleadingly.

"Oh, but she had time and a half to send me that wretched letter filled with 'I hate yous' and 'you're a freak' and 'oh, mum made me invite you so you have to come but don't think I want you theres,' huh James?" Lily says, getting angry just thinking about that letter Petunia had sent right before her graduation. She balls up her fists, trying to force down that ugly ball of anger in her throat that's making her feel like she might cry.

"Well just forget about the letter for now and -" James tries to reason with her.

"Forget about the letter? Come on, James! What am I supposed to do? Go up to her and say, 'I'm sorry I'm not what you want me to be. I'm sorry that you don't like me anymore.' No thank you. I'm done with that, I'm done with her." Lily chokes out, turning away from him.

But James pulls her back and takes her hand. "Done with her?" He says simply, knowing there's more to the story.

Lily pulls her hand back. "Yes, I've decided. I'm done. I'm not going back. Not for the wedding, not ever."

"Look, okay Lil, if you don't want to, you don't have to go to the wedding, but what about 'not ever?' After the wedding's over, I'm sure you'll be able to-" James attempts to calm her down, but she won't have it.

"No James, you just don't get it. It's not just her. It's everything about that world. I'm sick and tired of trying to act like I'm capable of fitting into both worlds- magical and muggle. I go to school and I have to readjust from what I was doing at home and then when I finally feel good there, I have to go home and become the normal daughter my parents want me to be. Oh, don't give me that look James," Lily says after James opens his mouth to cut her off. "I know they love me and my magic, but they don't understand this, they don't understand my world. They don't understand the war that we're fighting and if I try to explain it to them, they just say it's dangerous or something."

"Lily, it is dangerous." James says, in an attempt to get a word in.

"I know," Lily walks around the counter, "but they don't get why it's important, why it's vital for me- for us - to fight."

"Okay, I get what you're saying, but that doesn't mean you have to cut them off entirely." James tries to compromise.

"James, I made up my mind, I want to live in the magical world, where people understand me, where I'm important and where I can make a difference."

"And that's fine, good actually because I want you here. Just please don't cut them off completely." James says, getting that pleading look in his eyes again.

"Why? Why do you keep fighting me on this? You agree with me! You know it's the right choice to leave that world and leave them out of this." Lily says, getting louder with more frustration.

"Yes, but you're not getting my point! I want you to keep them in your lives, even if only a little bit. They're your parents, Lil!" James raises his voice as well.

"But you're not getting my point either! This is only going to work if I cut myself loose completely! Don't you get it? I need to do this, not just for my parents, but for me! Why do you keep contradicting me?" Lily yells.

"Because I don't want you to end up like Sirius." James screams, finally losing it.

Lily stares at him for a few seconds, restraining herself from firing another comeback at him. "Like Sirius?" she asks.

James calms down a bit and runs a hand through his hair. "Yeah, like Sirius." He says, seeming depleted.

"Like with his family and stuff?" She asks, softer this time.

"Yes. It's just- you don't understand, Lil." James says. "After Sirius left, he thought he would be so much better off. And in some parts, he was. He didn't have to take their verbal and physical abuse anymore. But, he was also cut off from his family, from the people he grew up with and that changed him- a lot more than he thought it would. He found it hard to relate to people and to be happy with who he was. He was really insecure for a while after that, always doubting himself over everything."

"But he was also so self-assured, so- in-your-face." Lily says, trying to prove him wrong.

"Trust me, Lily, I know, I've lived with him for two years, I understand what it did to him and I don't want that to happen to you." James stares hard at her face.

Lily takes a deep breath and sits down on one of those high counter chairs. She understands that he's concerned, especially since she's usually the one to talk him out of ideas. But this time, she really feels that what she's doing is right, that this is the right thing to do.

James slides into the chair next to her and then pulls Lily from her chair onto his lap. He wraps his arms around her, laying his head on her shoulder. "I don't want you to get hurt."

James seems so sincere that she's worried that she might have made too rash a decision. She lays her head back against his chest and takes another deep breath. "Maybe, and just maybe," she says quickly, "I don't have to leave forever." She takes another deep breath. "But for now, I have to leave, I have to be out of their world for a while and be on my own and then maybe - I can go back and visit." She says, looking over at James through the corner of her eye.

She sees the side of his lip quirk up in a half smile, but then it goes down again as he softly says, "Good."

"But no to the wedding, an absolute n-o to that."

"Okay, okay, I won't win all my battles today, I can accept that." James jokes, lightening up again.

Lily chuckles and leans back into James' chest again. They sit content like that for a few minutes before someone barges in.

"What the hell are you guys doing? What happened to the marshmallows? We're all starving to death out there!" Sirius says, feigning indignance.

James jumps out of the chair, sliding Lily off his lap and grabs the bag of marshmallows, throwing them at his friend. "Here you go, mate. Thanks for ruining that wonderful little moment there, I fully appreciate it."

"You're welcome." Sirius states, then grabs a few butterbeers from the bin and pushes Lily out the door. "Let's go, let's go, no more dilly-dallying!"

Sitting with all of her friends around the fire and James' arm tucked snugly around her, roasting marshmallows on their wands, Lily looks up at the sky and notices that the moon is still not in the sky, but yet she somehow feels inexplicably comfortable (and she knows it's not just from the butterbeer).

* * *

_AN: Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed it. I tried something a little different, writing the entire story in present tense, which I don't normally do. I struggled with it a bit, trying to make it seem normal and not too noticeable. Even if you don't normally review, it would be great just to get a little constructive criticism about the writing style and if it was awkward or not. Also, any reviews of the story itself would be great as well! Thanks :) _


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